Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
