Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
