Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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