he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize