Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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