Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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