So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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