Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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