its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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