Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
