my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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