we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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