the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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