I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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