He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
