where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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