i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize