Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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