HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
