OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
