I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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