She went from zero to smokin in five shots
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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