my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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