Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
