Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Drunk is not a location!
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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