I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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