evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
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Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
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I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
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