My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
