i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
