508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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