i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
