just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
