I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
