found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
