i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
