Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
It's shark week go big or go home
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
