hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
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