I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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