I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
accomplished twins. life is a go
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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