thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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