so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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