Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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