Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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