so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
that's an acceptable place to lick
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Randomize
