fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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