am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Enjoy the penises
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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