You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
