Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
She even gives head with a lisp.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
