plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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