and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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