I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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