I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
