in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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