We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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