You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
