Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
