What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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