if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
