I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
