hotel room ftw
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
