Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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