We're like a lot better than the average bears
My brain says no but my pants say off.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
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