I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
I looked at my own cervix.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs