why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Randomize
