i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
