Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Randomize
