Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  i think i'm in class. and blacked out.

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  (404): i think i'm in class. and blacked out. http://tfl.nu/l2ml
  Replies (5) Good night (2232) Bad night (648)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am

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  (360): there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am http://tfl.nu/on84
  Replies (26) Good night (5944) Bad night (960)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.

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  (908): when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave. http://tfl.nu/35vg
  Replies (26) Good night (1719) Bad night (6474)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.

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  (917): I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee. http://tfl.nu/dm1b
  Replies (44) Good night (2035) Bad night (7063)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.

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  (336): This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard. http://tfl.nu/5chf
  Replies (36) Good night (6314) Bad night (1300)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.

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  (570): since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there. http://tfl.nu/6g57
  Replies (4) Good night (2831) Bad night (887)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame

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  (989): He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame http://tfl.nu/n7tj
  Replies (6) Good night (5502) Bad night (1307)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?

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  (256): I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much? http://tfl.nu/gx9s
  Replies (4) Good night (2735) Bad night (729)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.

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  (360): Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded. http://tfl.nu/tq2s
  Replies (4) Good night (864) Bad night (1673)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.

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  (917): Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets. http://tfl.nu/ksjf
  Replies (10) Good night (967) Bad night (1702)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend

  (703): View more from Virginia

  You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.

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  (443): you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend (703): You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence. http://tfl.nu/no32
  Replies (4) Good night (1739) Bad night (619)
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  (916): View more from California

  Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?

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  (916): Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night? http://tfl.nu/oh7z
  Replies (5) Good night (1968) Bad night (810)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.

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  (239): Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul. http://tfl.nu/8na0
  Replies (2) Good night (513) Bad night (304)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.

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  (804): Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed. http://tfl.nu/dg7v
  Replies (1) Good night (468) Bad night (176)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.

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  (912): I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single. http://tfl.nu/n6zn
  Replies (0) Good night (83) Bad night (179)

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