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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  did you answer or finish?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  both

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (707): View more from California

  drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?

  (614): View more from Ohio

  is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?

  (330): View more from Ohio

  how did you know?

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore. 

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.

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• (88): View more from

  As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Welcome to Philly.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.

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• (510): View more from California

  I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.

  (707): View more from California

  The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.

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• (361): View more from Texas

  u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."

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