My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
