I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
